MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
