the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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