so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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