i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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