my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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