I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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