As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
