I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
