we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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