I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize