yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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