Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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