their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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