I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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