At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
