The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i think i just lost a toe
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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