my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This is the high leading the old right now
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
