My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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