New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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