Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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