brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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