I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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