Having a random hookup so left but love u
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize