Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
