What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
