We should be called the Road Head Warriors
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
