PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
