He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
