i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
