After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize