Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
