that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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