yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
