I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
