It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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