When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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