What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Come see our sink grown plant.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i came on her dog
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
