youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
