You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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