Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize