we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
