His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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