Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
