Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
