I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this just has baby written all over it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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