did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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