You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
