My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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