you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?