So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.