I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick