Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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