my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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