You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
