She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
