You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
