I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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