You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
