And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
