waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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