There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
