we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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