Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
True college students do jello shots in the library
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize