There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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