ya dads aren't the best wingmen
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
