I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
